I was shocked by a conversation that made fun of someone for having ‘old’ friends. It really made me think about the importance of being engaged in life as you age. If you have an ageless mind, how can your friends be too old?
Tuesday afternoon I went out for drinks with a few male friends. The were joking about another friend who is getting close to 60 because he hangs out with guys in their 70’s. When they played golf with him they harassed him when he said he met with these older guys for coffee every week.
My first reaction was, “Why are they giving him a hard time? He lives in a small town several hours away from his old friends and he found people he likes to hang out with.” Do they think the 70 year olds are supposed to just curl up and stay at home because they aren’t 40 anymore? Don’t they understand that 70 is the new 40?
As they went on talking about their golf game and this guy’s younger girlfriend, they still kept talking about how he was turning into an old man because he spent time with these older men.
Does that seem as ridiculous to you as it does to me?
Maybe I’ve had the mindset of being ageless for so long I’m out of the loop, but to me, age is not a criteria for picking friends. I want to spend time with people who are fun to be around and are interesting to talk to.
How do you choose your friends?
The next day I was driving to breakfast with one of the friends who was part of this conversation and we started talking about it again.
I told him one of the reasons I thought it was strange to laugh at him of his older friends was because my dad, who turned 80 this year, plays golf with 2 guys that are in their 90’s. They are in a league together.
I watched they way they all joked around like guys in their 20’s would when they came to his surprise birthday party this summer. Do they think they’re too old to have fun? Absolutely not!
Is there an age where it is or isn’t ok to ave friends 10 years older than you? To me, it seems like a ridiculous question to even entertain, but apparently not to other people.
I look at it this way…
My dad plays golf with guys in their 90’s. It shows him that guys that age can still be physically active and keep up with a league of guys 10, 20, 30 years younger than them. It also subconsciously reinforces that you can live into your 90’s, and have your mind and body functioning well.
In my mind it’s a good thing to hang around active older people. They have an abundance of wisdom to share and they are much more comfortable pin their skin than many younger people who are still worried about what everyone else thinks.
My dad is also very involved in his grandkids lives, going to other states to follow their sports all through high school and now into college. He takes road trips to other states and has no problem having out with people in their 40 and 50’s who are the parents of these kids.
I’ve belonged to a woman’s group her in Cabo for more than 20 years and many of the members were retired when I met them, so they are probably in their 80’s and I know a few in their 90’s. Many of those women have outlived their husband and have lived here alone for many years. They travel all the time, have many friends and are always out doing activities and giving back to the community.
There is no age limit on being engaged in life.