It really is a gift to have reality-based high self-esteem. It gives you a realistic view of your abilities. It’s fine to have big dreams, and a component of living an ageless lifestyle is to play full out in every area of your life. And, at the same time, you have to have some kind of talent or capacity to learn whats required to have the ability to achieve your dreams and goals. Sometimes the reality is you either have it inside you or you don’t.
Watching bits and pieces of reality shows recently, I have to wonder how some of these people get such an unrealistic high opinion of their talents. Over 80,000 people auditioned for American Idol alone. Many of these people are very talented. Others are totally misguided in their opinion of their ability. How is this possible? Do the really awful people have anyone who is being honest with them? Do they dismiss those people as not knowing what they’re talking about?
Over and over I’ve heard people say they know they’re good because it’s their passion. Others say they will continue pursuing their path because they’ve invested so much of themselves in it.
I think they would be better served by someone being honest with them. Possibly saying that while they may be good, they aren’t great and help them find where their true greatness is.
One of my early mentors used to say you have to say no to the good to say yes to the great. I believe this also applies to figuring out what you are really good at in the first place. I frequently hear myself saying to clients, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”
You may have multiple talents, but there are degrees to them that make one come out on top, the one you’re really great at. When you let go of the stuff that’s just good enough, it opens up a space for what’r really great to either show up, or shine through.
You’ve heard you should act “as if” until you master an attitude or behavior. In many cases that is exactly what will get you where you’re going. In another situations you may find acting doesn’t make it so. It will only work if there is some level of proficiency already recognizable in what you are currently doing.
Wearing blinders and going single-mindedly after the wrong goal is not enough to get you there. Be realistic about what you have a true ability for and let go of what will be a long road of wishful thinking.
Letting go of unrealistic expectations opens you to new possibilities from unexpected sources. Let yourself be surprised!
So how do you know when you have reality-based high self-esteem and when you are limiting yourself by wanting to keep your goals realistic?
Here is an affirmation to keep this principle in mind:
As I observe my life without needing to control how my greatness shows up, I am directed to an abundance of opportunities .
There is an incredible freedom in being able to let go and be open to new opportunities coming from unexpected sources. Your life becomes a daily adventure. The more you’re aware of this principle, the more opportunities you can say yes to.
Controlling every aspect of your life is hard work and takes a great deal of time and energy that can be put to better use. Have you ever noticed when you’ve tried as hard as you can to force something to happen, many times it doesn’t? Then, out of frustration, you give up control. You say to yourself “I’ve done all I can do. If it’s meant to be, it will be.” That translates to “I don’t know what else to do. I give up.” When you give up your attachment to how something shows up, it usually shows up pretty quickly. Isn’t that interesting?
Being clear on what you want and at the same time being open to that or something better showing up creates incredible opportunities. Most likely the dreams you dream for yourself, because you want to remain realistic, are way too small. The Universe will create a level of abundance you could never imagine if you get out of your own way.
Points to Ponder
What aspects of your life have you been unwilling to stop micromanaging until now?
What’s the worst thing that can happen if you let go of control?
What abundance could you create by trusting the Universe to provide bigger opportunities for you?
Be aware of what you say to yourself 24/7.
Affirmations and written goals are a good way to stay focused. Do you have written goals? Do you repeat them out loud at least four times a day? Write your top three goals right now and get started!